Forgiveness.

Probably the hardest blog i have written yet. I am coming to think that i am a very prideful person because forgiveness(accepting and giving) has always been hard for me. But it hit me hard tonight. I need to forgive. More specifically, i need to forgive Jordan. I told him that i had. I told him that i didn't hold anything that had happened against him, but i have. I haven't forgiven him. And that is why i still hurt so much. And this is going to have to chnage, like so many other things lately. So, Jordan if you ever read this i forgive you. The hurt is still there, but i am not going to bring it up or hold it against you. You are forgiven. And we can move on and be friends now. The dreams are still there. The longings are still there. The hope is still there. But the hurt isn't. The unforgiveness isn't. The bitterness isn't. I still need your forgiveness though. We are going to have to talk about this soon, but i needed to write it out first. I needed to sort through everything before i said something incredible dumb. So, new lesson learned. Forgiveness is neccessary.