Break Throughs.

After a lot of admosity between a friend for reasons i couldn't pin point even to myself tonight was a breakthrough. I was finally able to see someone in a different light and what an amazing person to get to finally truly see!

Safe Friends.

The tornado might have skipped Dalton last night but it almost completely destroyed the town over. I was so relieved to find out that Kayla and her family were passed over and are safe and sound. Praise God!

Nature In All Its Splendor.

This storm is a little scary but so beautiful. I was looking out over my balcony and lightening was just lighting up the sky, one strike right after another with no breaks. You could literally feel the charge of electricity in the air and i was breathless. It was so simply, purely beautiful. Nothing humans have ever created will ever come close to nature in its purest forms.

Great Friends.

I don't think i have ever had such an incredible group of diversely different friends that i can simply laugh with so much as i do with these awesome people.

A Long Road.

I needed a breather after a sressful day. I know a 2 hour car ride may not seem relaxing to a lot of people but 2 hours of nothing but time to sort out my thoughts was exactly what i needed. Especially after a day like today. Also very thankful for generous parents for helping me with my car.

Home.

I am starting to get a little homesick now. For the only place i have ever felt i truly belonged and called home: dear old dalton and Chatsworth. Just one more day! I have loved seeing family, but it is time to go home.

God's Whispers in the Night.

Had car trouble on the way to the point that my parents were in astonishment that i arrived at all let alone safely. I had water in my gas tank and in all reality should have broken down on the way. But God is a great God and he protected me and then provided an answer to the unknown at the time problem. He spoke to my dad in the middle of the night making the answer clear. How awesome to see God work in the most mysterious ways!

Family Time.

At the parents again for the weekend. Had a little car trouble on the way but God guided me safely here. I am looking forward to a weekend of celebrating the rising of our great Saviour!

Understanding Others Thorns.

Everyone has something that they struggle with. Everyone has a thorn in their flesh or maybe several. It is our responsibility as brothers and sisters in Christ to assist one another and serve one another and not be stumbling blocks. We joke about sin so much that i think we take it too lightly now. We need to be loving one another by helping in what ever way we can. We can never pray for each other too much. We can never encourage too much. I am going to try to be a better sister in Christ especially to Jordan. Because i think this is a great challenge for me now and lately i feel God has been challenging me. More growth on the horizon!

Brandon Extended.

So Brandon is going to be very very missed. I knew from the start that he would be our intern since he is slightly unconventional to what the other churches around here expect interns to look like. And also become it was obvious from his first time at our church that he was awesome and Mark always steals the really awesome interns. I love how Brandon is so content to be himself, no approval from others needed or even always desired. He is talented. He makes me laugh until i think my ribs are going to crack. His has such an off the wall sense of humor, almost slightly devious in nature. He is also very compassionate and probably one of the best listeners i know. Brandon has a passion for things other people don't even get excited about. I really hope he visits a lot of i am going to have to put his address in my GPS. Atleast a monthly dose of Brandon is neccessary for life.

Brandon.

I am going to miss Brandon so much. He has been such a quirky addition to our little group. There is so much about him i want to write about and i am going to expand on this blog tomorrow when i am not high on coffee ice cream. haha so to be continued!

Sunshine.

This afternoon was nothing short of lovely. I sat outside of the church for about an hour reading while feeling the warm sunshine on my shoulders. There wasn't a cloud in the bright, blue sky and the temperature was absolutly perfect. Probably my favorite part of the day.

The Most Unexpected Gift.

There is always a lot going on inside my head and every now and then all the jumbles (multiple thoughts cart wheeling around) come together to form a decent thought or realization. Today was one of those days. I will have to be honest; life lately has been painful. There has been a lot of hurt, disappointment, surprise, fear, and confusion. But, through all of these very real, very painful things popping up, good has emerged. I have finally learned that the very worst situations, have potential for some of the very best experiences humans can experience. I thought at one time that I could never; under any circumstance see true good come from pain. Lessons learned yes, wisdom yes, even acceptance, but never good. I learned today that I was very wrong. Because without some of the greatest evils or pains we would be completely incapable of knowing the truest good. Without pain, we could never know what healing was like. Without sorrow, we could experience happiness, but never joy, and without suffering, we could never be capable of knowing comfort. True, without any of these negatives or hurts, we would live in a very safe, comfortable, even happy world, but we would live in a world void of the highest supreme pleasures. I have not yet had to hold my dying child in my arms or watch a parent die from a disease or experience anything even close to that degree of pain, but I hope that if I have to, this thought will remain, even then: the most pain we could ever imagine, pain that knocks us to our knees or leaves us breathless, that pain provides the way for the greatest levels of comfort, peace, and joy that is beyond our comprehension. And so, that pain has great worth. And if unbelievable pain has, great worth than perhaps the God who makes this good come from pain is, not only justified in allowing it, but also is good in allowing it? I think He is. And so I thank Him ahead of time for all of the pain that I will ever experience, because in doing so I am also being given the great honor of experiencing the greatest pleasures in this world. What a great God!

Learning Who to Turn To.

Usually i have the bad habit of turning to typical comforts when my feelings are hurt or i am sad, but tonight i did good, I gave it all to God first thing. Every little thing Jordan does still hurts my feelings. And i usually sulk over it, but tonight i realized no one understands my hurt, even petty hurt better than God does so why not give it to Him? And i felt so much better after i did. Worship is possible even through unbelieveable pain, hurt feelings, and sorrow. Living proof right here.

Provisions.

God is such a God of perfect timing. I have been watching my account closely because it is a little low this week and was sweating a little, but i check my mail today to find $50 on a rebate card i mailed off for weeks ago arriving just as i need it. How amazing!

Jenny Lawless.

Tonight was so much fun. It starts off innocently enough with Jenny and I driving to the mall in Chattanooga. However, on the way back we end up on signal mountain miles and miles away. Then we took a dip in the hot tub talking about weddings and such. Always an adventure with that girl.

Bible Study.

Was just amazing tonight. I loved how we prayed for ourselves in the end. I know that sounds shallow and selfish but really most of the time we lift up others which we should but a lot of times tat is a cover up becuse we don't want to acknowledge the things we persoanlly need prayer for. We were all nudged out of our comfort zones a little tonight by having to personally pray outloud for ourselves.

Naps.

Such a tiny thing to be thankful for, but these naps are so refreshing to me. It is so ncie after along day at work to be able to come home and let my body recharge itself. Also i rarely remember dreaking during naps unlike at night so i get so much more rest.

Music.

My old passion for music has surfaced out of nowhere and i have the bleeding fingertips to prove it. I have spent the afternoon teaching myself accoustic. I have missed playing guitar so much and playing makes me miss the old days when the family played in a band together. I miss traveling and setting up and breaking down equipment over and over and playing my heart out.

Getting a Kick outta Life.

Shot my first shot gun today. I loved it! There is nothing like that first time where your facial expression is a combination of "i can't believe i am shooting this thing" and "I really hope this doesn't kick hard enough to hit me in the face" haha it was awesome!

Such a Time as This.

Kirk asked me to live with him for a while. At first i wrote the offer off casually saying i would consider it, but then it began knawing at me. I was at first confused, then contemplative, now terrified. I feel like God is wanting me to show Him to Kirk. That maybe He wants me to share openly with my brother what He has been doing in my life the past couple years. Maybe this is why i was sent here: to be saved and be prepared. Maybe I have been being prepared for such a time as this. I need to pray much more because i am so afraid. Here is comfortable and even the thought of living Jordan, my friends, and my church has me digging in my heels here. I feel as though I am being asked to put my own life on hold for a while and that brings out every selfish part of me who keeps wanting to pitch a fit, whinning about my own wants and desires. I don't feel prepared for this at all.

Growing Pains.

So, i am growing. I don't mean physically but spiritually. I really think God is wanting me to move in with Kirk. Part of me balks at the thought of leaving here behind. My friends are here. My church is here. My support is here. Here is...comfortable. What a terrible word. I think that is where the problem lies. Even in all of the stress and hurt and disappointment lately life here is still comfortable. I have my church, my friends, my job. Everything is steady and predictable. I feel as though i was brought here for a purpose, maybe to get saved? and that God has been growing me the last two years and He is finalyl saying "Enough, you are ready for the next step". Of course i don't feel ready at all. I am terrified. I feel very sure of this though. I am going to ask a few close people to pray with me over this and i will keep praying. My lease runs up in August. So little time to prepare...

Prayer of the Saints.

Had prayer time tonight. It was nice to be able to lift up others burdens in prayer. It helps me keep my own life in perspective and not feel alone when i realize others are going through tough spots as well. It was also really nice to hear others pray for me outloud by name. It is a unique blessing.

Hug.

Tonight i had the best hug in my life. Even out of all of the hugs Jordan and I had before nothing compared with tonight. He just simply held me for the longest time. I felt safer than i ever have before.

Storms.

The storm tonight is beautiful. Loud, streaking the sky with color and the thunder is so loud at times it makes me heart skip. I love it. I think i will sleep peacefully tonight.

Whispers.

Sometimes God makes me shake my head in wonder. I imagine him having an incredible sense of humor. He reveals things to me a lot. Some big revelations, sometimes things about myself i would rather wish i could ignore, sometimes just beauty in things i never saw before. He continues to reveal work in me that needs to be done. At first i was annoyed that i had so many flaws, then overwhelmed about them, now i am thankful. Because i know that i don't have to do anything but be willing to be used by him, willing to be changed or moved or shaken or molded. Sometimes these requirements come with pain or sacrifice, but all that is asked of us is to be willing.

God of All Comfort.

Today was hard. I had bad dreams and woke up sad. Usually i don't remember my dreams long after i wake up and i usually dream random, confusing dreams involving people or places i don't know. This dream was too personal. I woke up either crying or very sad and it was hard to shake that mood all morning. I took my break at work and started reading some of the Psalms and suddenly felt overwhelmed by comfort that could only from God. Seeing Jordan later made me remember my dreams and so thte feelings came back, although nowhere as heavy as they were this morning. But i will never forget the comfort from my Daddy this morning.

Short Work Days.

I got off at 10 today. Short work days are rare but the last 2 days i have only worked 5 hours. It makes for s smaller paycheck but every now and then the rest is worth it.